Cold California
by robotmonarchy
Summary: Ever since their new understanding, Dan and Chris' mornings usually ended up like this. (Fluff;Buddyshipping;crossposted from AO3)


_"Chriiisss!"_

Maybe if he just closed his eyes the noise will go away.  
 _"Chriiiiiisssssssssss!"_  
He forgot that his eyes were already closed.  
Okay, maybe if he pretended to sleep.  
"I'm cooolld. Your gigantic ass is hogging the blanket."  
Good, Chris thought. Serves Dan right for only washing one blanket.  
Maybe he can use this as an opportunity to lecture Dan on actually doing his laundry.  
Sure, that'll work after he successfully builds a jetpack.

There's more shuffling in the bed. "Chris. I know you're awake," the small man threatens.  
But Chris is determined to enjoy this morning as long as possible. He tries to think up a plan of action.  
What was it she said in that nice Disney movie they watched the other day when they were planning revenge against birthday parties?  
Was it conceal? Don't feel? Whatever, he just couldn't say anything, couldn't give in.  
Chris eased deeper into the bed, making point that he was going to rest well, be comfortable, enjoy a full, eight hour rest that every Chris like being deserves.  
The plan was working, until there's the sound of a swift movement, and then there's pain.  
 _"YOW!"_  
Did Dan just-  
"OW OW!"  
Yes, he did. Three times, in fact.

"Stop that!" is said somewhere between each kick. "You don't have to kick me." Chris whines before finally revealing he is in fact awake. In drowsy defeat, he rolls his body to face Dan. Green orbs and a jagged toothed scowl greet Chris this beautiful morning. Perhaps if they were standing, and fully clothed in their usual day to day outfits, and if Dan was threatening to do more than kick, Chris might have second guessed toying with Dan. But when Dan's in his boxers, and he can clearly see Dan's pale skin laced in goosebumps, and he's crossing his arms like a child…Well, the mind wanders to less threatening places. But Chris only stares blankly at Dan. He doesn't want to betray anything other than mild annoyance.

"You ignore me, I kick you." Dan says. Chris can only keep staring. His face shouts the words, "Well, what?"  
Dan sighs. Chris can see the man's frustration so clearly. He can already guess that Dan is thinking unkind things about his intelligence. One day he will tell Dan that he can just be difficult too.  
"I'm cold, Chris. Cold. In California. Because you decided you were king of the blankets."  
Defiantly, Chris wraps himself deeper into said treacherous blanket. "Well. Maybe I am."  
"Those are my blankets, Chris. Mine."  
"Yes, but I have them now. There's nothing that can be done about that." Chris pretends to go into intense thought. A grown man, cocooned into fabric, hardly appears very thoughtful, but Dan makes a whiny groan anyway.

"I'm just going to kick you again."  
Chris rolls his eyes.  
Dan's frowning, no, its descended into a full pout. Chris wonders if Dan realizes how much of a child he is, or if he does it on purpose because it actually yields results with Chris. "What did you want again?" Chris asks. A smile is threatening to tug at his lips.  
"Chris!" Dan growls, **"PAY ATTENTION."** Dan sits upright, likely ready to attack, but a blue shirt covers his face. Much like a bird with a towel over their head, Dan stops, is confused, frozen. "Wha-"  
Sometimes its difficult to really read Dan, Chris muses, as he's out of his blanket, and pull's Dan close to his bare chest. Thankfully, since establishing this arrangement of theirs, he's gotten quite better at understanding his friend. "What are you DOIN-" Dan begins to shout, but any colorful dialogue is muffled, lost within the fat of Chris' front. As Dan struggles, Chris swiftly covers both Dan and him with the blanket. Encompassing Dan's small body with his arms is wickedly easy, and Chris smiles as they lay down paired in a warm embrace. Dan, notably, has stopped struggling, and has finally relaxed into the morning. "There. Better?" Chris asks, his voice barely sounding like English when his face is in Dan's hair. Yet Dan nods yes lazily. He's shared meals with Chris for years, its harder for Dan to not know what Chris is saying.

Well that's a comforting thought, Chris thinks, before finally succumbing back into a warm slumber.


End file.
